REVEALED: THE ONLY TIP YOU NEED TO OVERCOME COMPARISON

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Is God partial?

Hasn't He given us different attributes in varying degrees? Some are richer, healthier and stronger than others. While others can boast of being taller, some can lay claim to being more beautiful or handsome than their colleagues. But who has it all? Show me just one person who's got the perfect shape, character, physical features and always have all he wants.

I don't know anyone, not even me in all my royal awesomeness. 😁😁😁

Let me ask you a question without waiting for your reply. Why is it that despite these seeming inequalities, some are happier than others? Is happiness found in wealth, beauty, intelligence or height? In my over two decades sojourn on this planet, I have met poor people who live happier life than their rich neighbours.

What's their secret? Shouldn't we all learn it?

It is Contentment.

Contentment is the cure to comparison, which in turn is the clandestine thief of joy.

I have encountered comparison in different phases of life. I have been serially compared with others. I used to compare myself too. Let me share one practical, relatable and repetitious example. If you are a graduate, this has either happened to you or to someone you know. If not, it has happened to you in another dimension.

It’s about the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) scheme. Most people made moves to ensure that they get posted to Lagos or Abuja, others wanted some other "juicy" States for one reason or the other. Yet, there were some people who "faithed" it, they fasted and prayed while waiting for NYSC to send them to where the Lord will have them go. When the posting came out, it was a pot of beans as people were flung far and wide from Ebonyi to Zamfara to Ekiti. Few got where they wanted, many did not, so they embarked on the path of redeployment. Expectations were shattered, plans were disrupted and faith shaken.

The other leg of the travail was how to get a good Place of Primary Assignment (PPA). Different people had different parameters; the stipends, work conditions, accommodation, location in State Capitals or Metropolitan Cities. While there are those who got their placement because they were born with golden, silver or bronze spoons. Only few could get into the NNPC, CBN, top MDA's and top notch firms without knowing someone with requisite connections. The remaining Corp Members were relegated to Ministries, schools, churches, mosques and NGO's. Others settled for their current PPA after months of strenuous search and abandonment of their earlier preferences.

The major issue now is that while there are those enjoying where they are, others are merely enduring where they are, waiting for the inevitable though distant end of the one year programme. This example is just a microcosm of the society. I have listened to several people and I know that one reason why they will never be happy with wherever they find themselves is because they will not stop comparing themselves with others.

Now listen to this, it is beyond NYSC. For some people, comparison has become a lifestyle. They started from Primary School, comparing mundane things as the food in their lunchbox to the texture of their sweatshirt and their results at the end of the term. Now they are comparing locations, allocations, accommodations, spouses, opportunities, careers, cars etc.

There will always be something to compare as far as you are alive. Comparison is an unending journey. Hence you have to realize that you may not always have the best in everything. Someone might be richer than you, more beautiful or more intelligent than you are. That’s not enough reason to have high blood pressure or swallow rat poison.😂😂😂 You abandon your uniqueness and awesomeness when you focus on what you lack than what you have. If there is one thing today that is killing several people silently even before death visits them, it is lack of contentment.

So How do you move from Comparison Avenue to Contentment Street?

You must learn to appreciate whatever you have at the moment. Convince yourself that you are awesome as you are. Remember that your current condition is a fantasy for others. Your realities are prayer points for someone else. Your tithe is equal to another fellow’s monthly allowance.

Did you just ask if there’s anything like healthy rivalry? Yes. There is, but it has created many sick patients at the end of the day. I rather advocate personal self-development. Usain Bolt did not become the fastest man by constantly looking back at what the other competitors were doing on their own track. Build Yourself. Face your lane. Run your race. Win your prize. You'’ve got all it takes.

More so, the grass is not always greener on the other side. The issue might just be the “lens” through which you gaze around. The “cool” people you envy, those that give you headache and sleepless night after you have compared yourself with them also have their own problems that they are dealing with. They might be experts at masking their difficulties. Stop equating your inadequacies with their success. It will never match up. Look inward, look at your environment, there’s something that you have that other people want. There’s a unique attribute that can lead to the achievement of your desires.

Lastly, no condition is permanent as change is the only constant thing. Where you are today is not a determinant of where you can be tomorrow.  The difference between where you are now (here) and where you want to be (there) is T. The T is for time. Your time will come.

Let me ask again, is God partial? What is your answer? It’s simply Contentment vs Comparison.

Be inspired. Be Contented. You are phenomenally awesome as you are.     

Have you ever compared yourself with others? Was it beneficial? How did you move from comparison to contentment? I will be delighted to hear your story in the comment section below. Let’s keep the conversation on. Drop a comment.

CHARLES ADEKUNLE

Charles is a dynamic young leader and terrific lawyer who helps people become the best leaders they are meant to be. When he is not teaching leadership at www.leadersplanetinc.wordpress.com, you will definitely find him in the courtroom. Got questions? Shoot him a mail at coadekunle@gmail.com