PANIC ALERT

"No No No....this can't be happening again”. I tried to force air through my lungs for the umpteenth time. The white bathroom walls were rapidly closing in on me again. I couldn’t breathe. I really couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone had knotted my thoracic cavity into a perfect bow. My black suit felt tight. My inner wear too.  Everything felt tight! I needed to strip, but I was in the office. I ran cold water through my braided wig for some relief. Dang! I threw the wig to the dark blue tiled floor. I turned off the water faucet while I held on to the washing hand basin for support.   "Ijeoma, you will be fine”, was all I could unconvincingly mutter while I tried to look at what was left of me in the mirror. My vision had depleted over the weeks from my poor eating habits. I looked horrible. How was it that I had done all these to myself? I mean, No one beat me. I wasn’t owing money. Didn’t join a cult that was after my life either. I was just really afraid. It was a type of fear I had never felt before. Fear that felt so tangible, scathed my mind and terrorized me with a worse possibility, “ What if I had just made the biggest mistake of my life".😱😱😱😱

ROLE PLAY

As a proverbs 31 woman, your husband is your king! A virtuous woman knows she must get up in the morning ahead of the entire family... bla bla bla" 

Statements, like this one was the reason I dreaded going to church on Mother's day or any other day that celebrated women in church. I'm not saying they were not interesting ooo, or that I had anything against Proverbs 31 per se. For me, any sermon targeted at depriving me of my sleep couldn't be from Jesus Christ 😂😂

AN ETHICAL DILEMMA: EMOTIONS v. ROCK SCIENCE

Today, I am going to be doing more of a self-reflection kind of thing. So Nothing I say has to annoy you today *unless of course, it is guilty conscience that is doing you*, and that one is completely your business. I don’t know why people will just stay and make my personal reflection about them. 😉😉

SO UNCLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

"And Uncle Elijah was scared and ran for his life..."

Every time I read the scripture, 1st Kings 19, I find it pretty amusing.  Like i can't just hold myself 😂😂. Maybe it's because I actually try picturing God's face at the time of the said question. Ok, ok, i know God did not actually call Elijah Uncle, but is it your own bible? or your own revelation? leave me mbok 😂😂.  I want to tell you the whole story. I really want to... But nah... I'll pass. Go and read your own Bible. Lol! 

REVEALED: THE ONLY TIP YOU NEED TO OVERCOME COMPARISON

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Is God partial?

Hasn't He given us different attributes in varying degrees? Some are richer, healthier and stronger than others. While others can boast of being taller, some can lay claim to being more beautiful or handsome than their colleagues. But who has it all? Show me just one person who's got the perfect shape, character, physical features and always have all he wants.

I don't know anyone, not even me in all my royal awesomeness. 😁😁😁

Let me ask you a question without waiting for your reply. Why is it that despite these seeming inequalities, some are happier than others? Is happiness found in wealth, beauty, intelligence or height? In my over two decades sojourn on this planet, I have met poor people who live happier life than their rich neighbours.

What's their secret? Shouldn't we all learn it?

I LOVED AND I WON

Ours was a love story that started like in the movies- first we were strangers, then we were lovers- felt like we couldn’t live a day apart from each other. She was just the perfect woman. Pretty, intelligent, respectful, very homely, teachable, dedicated to everything she sets out to do – the list goes on. And oh, that woman loves God. Like if I did  not know God myself and perhaps love him as much as she did, I would have been offended by how much she made everything about God. Her life, me, us, our relationship- everything was about God. Tasha was the type of woman, a Christian guy like me, could date only in my wildest of dreams. Yes that’s her name – Tasha. A name as sweet and lovely as she is. My Teddy-bear.💓💓💓

 RESPONSIBILITY

"Ijeoma, where is your phone?” he asked  sternly as he walked across the living room with all intent to slap my face. “Didn't, you see all my missed calls? Where is your phone my dear friend?” Dad asked again as he stared at me with his bloodshot eyes. Why were his eyes so red and where was his shirt for God sake? I thought to myself as I tried to distract myself from the impending slap.